For When Death Seems Better Than Losing a Child

Many times we see the hurt we go through as a mistake. These painful moments and situations that are meant to destroy us. What if we are looking at them wrong?What if what we are going through is meant to bring out of us what we were created for?  From day one. 

Here is my testimony of how the Love of Christ saved my life and how I came to truly know him: December 2015 started off just like any other holiday season. We had plans to spend time with loved ones and eat lots of holiday food.

My family and I had decided to change things up a bit that year. We didn’t want to focus on what we could buy each other, but more on what we could do for others. Aside from the positive changes we had decided to make, to focus more on God and less on ourselves, we would encounter a change that would be different than we had planned. During this time we were met with a storm that had the potential to rip my whole family apart, beyond repair. This particular year I would experience some major testing, postured to destroy me and that would ultimately change all of our lives, never leaving us the same.

We had made it a point that this would be the year that we would do for others instead of expecting others to do for us. This was our first call to Evangelism and we hoped that Christ would use us, and our lives, as we begin living as disciples – aiming to change the lives we would encounter. Things couldn’t have been better. We were enjoying this time and it gave us great joy to do for others. Our eldest daughter Quiara had specifically expressed how much joy this change brought her.

During this time I had been preparing for surgery. I had cancer cells growing on my thyroid and as the time came closer to my surgery date, my plan was to begin preparing for my surgery and then to continue spending this special time of the year with my family.

However, things would change drastically. I laid in the bathtub getting prepared for my surgery, the night before it was to take place. My mother came to my door and let me know that Quiara was in the bathroom throwing up and that she did not look well.

We Headed to the Emergency Room

She was diagnosed with gastritis, and we pushed and pushed that something had to be terribly wrong because she was throwing up blood. We asked was it her liver? Was something going on with her kidneys? But they insisted that she was fine. She just needed to go home and rest. She was discharged and sent home.

This would be the very last time I would hear my big girl’s voice. My gift from God, my friend, and it would be the last time I’d see the eyes of my beautiful baby girl. As Quiara went home from the hospital, I went straight to admitting myself into surgery. What would happen next would break me: spiritually and emotionally. I would get hit so hard that

ONLY God and his love for me would lift me out of a black hole, where I was spiritually dead.

The next morning my daughter was fighting for her life at another hospital. It was December 24th, yes Christmas Eve, that our baby girl would take her last breath and go home to be with the Lord.

This tragic event almost killed me, my husband, and my two younger daughters. It broke a chain that God had linked together in our home.

You see ultimately the enemy was trying to destroy us. He came after my entire home. Little did he know what plans God had for us.

God would use all of our hurt and pain to bring glory to his name and testify of his goodness, faithfulness, and love. Instead, God would use our story to begin saving many souls, bringing the hurt and broken straight into his arms. He is in the business of loving and bringing purpose to the broken who rest in him. Trusting him and relying on him in the midst of the hurt and pain.